Like most of the world, I was absolutely sickened at the sight of a black American man – George Floyd – having the life squeezed out of him by four psychopathic brutes.

Of course, scenes of sickening and inhuman brutality by cops do not exactly shock or surprise me in the least.

All I know is that the act of putting on a police uniform seems to turn what might have been something of a human being into an inhuman, psychopathic monster.

And it’s not a few ‘bad apples’. Police officers are sadistic, quasi-human monsters. How can I believe otherwise after what I have been subjected to by literally thousands of them for over a decade?

I am not a black man, I understand that the George Floyd death is more a symbol of what is perceived as black oppression in the USA rather than an individual tragic case, or even of police brutality in general.

My case is not going to cause protests. The fact that I have been screaming and pleading in vain for 13 years that ‘I can’t breathe’ isn’t, it seems, going to garner a single shred of sympathy from anyone. And if I finally lose my mind all-together and spend the rest of my life banging my head against a padded wall, or commit suicide, or am discovered at the bottom of a river after being killed by an East European security firm or by the police themselves, nobody will even know what’s happened to me, let alone shed a tear or join a march.

What has hurt me perhaps more than the brutal killing of George Floyd, is seeing the events unfold in London. Obviously, his death has been exploited by sections of the community to cause mayhem, even thousands of miles away in the UK. But what’s truly disturbed me is the abject cowardice and obsequious of London Metropolitan police officers, the same evil bullying scum who have had their knees on my neck for 13 years in the knowledge that I wont survive it much longer.

How did I let these subhuman cowards do this to me for 13 years? I’ve been asking myself this constantly the last few days.

Well really, I don’t know what I could have done differently. The fault not lies in me, but the police who are clearly worthless, cowardly, criminal, bullies. Torturing to death a mentally disabled member of the public is fine by them, but any group that can stand up to them, and they are on their knees begging for forgiveness like the craven cowards they are.

Yes, I’ve gone about this the right away. I began over a decade ago by making complaints to the companies that were employing the security guards/staff who were engaging in torture against me – such as Tesco, Boots, Sainsburys etc. When this had no effect (or simply increased the bullying and intimidation by staff and security guards) I appealed for help from anti-torture organizations, and was told to stop spamming or more often, simply ignored all-together. After a few years, I started to ‘escalate’ my complaints by directly e-mailing the CEOs of companies like Sainsburys and Tesco. Again, it made absolutely no difference. More recently, I tried contacting several legal firms. Two UK firms both told me my case was ‘too complex’ for them. Out of three European firms I contacted, two did not reply and the other tersely informed me of his opinion that ‘I don’t have a case’ (he didn’t even ask why the police in 13 countries were doing this to me – a paranoid schizophrenic – for over a decade).

One other thing I tried was recording my bullying on hidden cams. I did this fairly infrequently for a while, early on around a decade ago. I wish I had done it more, but due to threats and intimidation from police officers (including at Lavender Hill, Battersea) I decided to stop. I have started this again recently, and this time I will not stop.

I am confident I have enough recorded footage already to at least persuade an independent third party to take my allegations seriously. Moreover, at least it has preserved some sanity in myself. I KNOW that it has not been a delusion on my part. When I walked into a Sainsburys store 11 years ago where I was being abused, and I recorded – as I expected – a cashier getting up to leave as soon as I joined the queue saying – ‘I’m going. I don’t feel well, I don’t know why’, then at least proves to me that the police DID point me out to dozens of stores, restaurants etc. To anyone else, I guess they could say I must have been acting aggressively or shouting at staff the day before, but I KNOW that that’s not the case.

So finally, the setting up of this blog, together with the resumption of hidden recording (and uploading the videos) seems to me the best way to escalate this further. I’m getting threats and intimidation for this. Total Security Services or the police themselves issued a successful take down notice to YouTube for my video of the Boots security guard in Priory Meadow Shopping Center Hastings. Last week, as I was walking down a near deserted street, a police car speeded up and suddenly broke hard along side me. When I turned around to look, the (European) police officer in the driving seat was grinning evilly at me.

All I want is for this to stop and for me to able to resume my sad life without being tortured to death. At all times I’ve not only obeyed the law, but tried to escalate things gradually.

Unfortunately, after 13 years, it’s clear that the sadistic bent psychopathic criminals doing this to me will not get off my neck until such time as they have a real and honest fear that they will be spending time in prison unless they do so (and even then I believe they are such out of control psychopathic immature sadists that they wont stop until it’s too late).